SEX FACTS
LOVE-MAKING
Men v. Women
It’s time to come out bare and unedited on a subject that is regarded as a bedroom affair. I mean sex – and everything in between. Like money, which we use all the time but least discussed, so is sex. Let us face it, people do engage in sex more frequent than we think. We see pregnancies and babies all the time. These things don’t just happen, they are caused. And sex is the event.
Why is it that people do sex all the time but are shy to talk about it in the open? Culture and tradition has something to do with it. In many cultures sex is a taboo; it is a subject of grave sacredness. Only certain people “certified” as sex-experts can freely talk about it – and only as a curative measure, and not as preventive.
Like money, although most people do it, less people make the most out of sex or even enjoy it. To many people sex is just a strong feeling. This is usually because of the way men have used it at the expense of ladies’ satisfaction.
In this article, I share the attitudes of both men and women to sex. It is these attitudes which determine how sex is perceived by both sexes. Enjoyment and satisfaction of sex depend on how both men and women manipulate these attitudes to the advantage of the opposite. Note, I didn’t say to their own advantage, rather, to the advantage of the other. That is what true sex is all about – it is about satisfying your partner – and get satisfied as a result.
Men’s Attitude towards Sex
Men’s attitude towards sex reflects their anatomical make up. The male organs are situated outside of the body. Therefore, men have an outward outlook on sex – they respond to it spontaneously and impulsively. Men see sex. Thus from seeing a woman’s bodily sections, men may react sexually. They are moved by the presence or the perceived presence of a woman. Specially, men exhibit three approaches to sex: mental, tension, and passion.
1. Mental
Men use their minds to process sex. It’s in their heads. A man may bring all the sexual thoughts to actuality just by thinking. Do I mean that women cannot do that, of course, not? Although women can do so, men seem to do it more effortlessly and frequently.
There is an interesting story in the Book of Genesis when Jacob sleeps with Leah in the night, and thinks he is having sex with Rachael. At the time, Jacob is mentally satisfied with the body before him. In his head, she is Rachael, even if the features say otherwise.
Unlike in women’s case, men may automatically “switch on” their sexual faculties without even knowing it. While women do it consciously, men’s response to nudity or suggestive exposure happen rather too quick and almost instinctively. Control is the main driving force.
Talking about control, men must learn to control their sexual instincts, including when making love. Because men use their minds but women use their hearts in love-making, men are more likely to reach orgasm early than women. Control of the mind is thus crucial in ensuring that a man reaches at the same time as her woman. Pre-mature ejaculation is not only irritating to a woman; it may damp the woman’s sexual desire towards her man permanently.
2. Tension
To men, sexual release is a necessity. Men don’t only find satisfaction in ejaculation, but release accumulated tension through it. That is why men who enjoy good sexual lives also tend to fair better in career, sports, academic and many areas of life. Sexual release energizes men to perform tasks and achieve greatly. In a man’s life, good sex means a good, stable and relaxed mind.
A man who lacks good sex with his partner is susceptible to infidelity, unfaithfulness, and to masturbatory practices. Many women blame their men for going out with other women. Women have also a role to play to ensure that their men get full from them. When men are satisfied they are less likely to be tempted with other women. Remember, a man thinks about it, and acts.
3. Passion
To men, sex is passion. As you will see, to women sex is love. Men don’t need to love a woman to have sex with her; they just need to be stimulated. This is both a problem and a challenge. It is a problem because a woman cannot count on sex as a measure of how much a guy loves her. It is a challenge because there is a thin-line between love and sheer passion, as far as a man’s sexual encounters are concerned.
Here is a litmus test for would be-lovers. If a guy asks you for sex on the first date, doubt it when he says he loves you next. He may be moved by something else, not love. Similarly, married women should be careful that their husbands don’t rape them in the name of conjugal obligations. For many a man has had sex with an unprepared, disinterested and completely absent-minded woman. Women prepare for sex; they don’t do it spontaneously like men do.
Women’s Attitude towards Sex
Success with any satisfied sexual encounter depends on the way a woman is perceived and treated. Women by nature are delicate and complicated. They are to be handled with care and respect. Anything less than that may amount to sexual abuse and insensitivity! To successfully consummate love-making as far as a woman is concerned, men need to understand how women view the whole sexual extravagance.
Women and men generally react to sex in the same way, except that women take one more step further. Where sex is mental to men, it is a matter of the heart to women. For men sex is tension, women demand attention. And women consider love-making a love affair, and not just passion.
1. Heart Matter
The woman anatomy keeps her inside, and not outside. This is also true in the way she responds to sex. A woman’s sexual life is closely knitted with her heart. Anything that happens to her sexual component affects not only her body, but her heart as well. That is why consideration, moderation and knowledge are required when dealing with women sexually.
Nothing goes inside a woman and comes out impulsively. A woman builds a monument around every sexual encounter. It is not like a one day hit-and-that-is-all affair. Even sex traders and workers are affected in this. However unconcerned they may seem, every prostitute cares what happens to her sexually. She may sleep with a hundred men a week, and mysteriously, she will remember every sexual encounter. And what is more, women know and can measure on a love-scale of one to ten, each and every of their sexual encounters.
Why - because sex to a woman is a heart matter, not just for pleasure. Women are hurt more by sex than men are satisfied by it. The reason why men should not take it lightly when they have sex is because it matters to women. A woman may shock you: after you have had numerous sexual encounters then she tells you that only one or two of them was truly sex. And you wonder what the rest was!
It is because men do it and go home and have a nice sleep. Women do it and remain contemplating. To men it is a done deal, to women, it is just beginning. It is the same reason that a woman would prefer one man for the rest of her life to multiple partners. She would do that because her heart can only handle one love at a time. Men may vacillate from woman to woman and don’t even think about it. In fact, most men would prize themselves as great or adventurous doing so.
Women are not only faithful in relationships; they have a lot to protect. They have a heart to nurture, a future of misery to avert, and dignity on the line! When men make love to women, they should understand that they are risking her heart, unless they genuinely do so in love.
2. Attention
Do you wonder why a woman has larger breasts than a man, why she appeals to men’s senses more than men do, and why she carries the whole world on her back? Well, you guest well, she demands attention. She carries extra titivations, and warrants extra attention.
Sex to a woman is not tension, it is attention. A man may take a woman to bed, undress her, and immediately have sex with her, and be completely off in seconds. A woman, begins when most men are finishing. That is why women plan for sex, because time matters in their love-making.
When you marry or have a woman, you have the whole package: every contour on her needs to be caressed meticulously in love-making. Pay attention to her bumps and lips, her mountains and valleys, and her swings and flows! Do not be in a hurry with her. She takes relatively long to be turned on, but once on it may take her a while to cool off.
When you make love to a woman, prepare the stage way ahead of the feast. Do not just think about it now and want it. “Hey, dear, I want sex now!” That should not be. In fact, you can start to lay the stage as early as possible. Say kind words, treat her special and go out of your way to make her happy and comfortable. She will be ready before you know it.
Pay attention to her hair, her face, her dress, her shoes, her make-up, and all the trimmings and excesses on her. Praise her looks, admire her moves, ramp and all in her waves and get lost in her chuckles and mannerisms. Get her sweet attention early and you will be glad you did after your encounter. She will be a fulfilled and happy woman.
3. Love
To a woman, love-making is love first before it is made. To her sex is not only passion, it is a statement, a life, an affirmation. When you have sex with her, she believes you love her, and not just because you want to feel good. She has to feel the love.
On this site I have talked about masculinity. Here is how men should use it in love-making. Melt in her arms of love. Die in her embrace. Be a child in her feminine shelter. Cry irresistibly in her streams. Do not be macho and tough, be mellow and gentle, and dance patiently to the beat of her heart. In her pulse and heart-bit lies your success. When she breathes heavily and continuously, you know you are doing your job well. Patiently wait for her to reach the end and then take it to the next level.
Speak her name as if it was the nicest construction of the known symbols. Touch her as if she was the most delicate crystal gods had ever reserved. Let her feel you love her, truly loving her, and not just for convenience. She will love it; she will love you more than you ever dreamed.
It is no wonder most serious and respectful women wait to give a man love until they are sure he loves them. They have lots to guard against. They guard against destroyers and heart-breakers. They protect their hearts and their wholeness that way.
Sex should not be a regular, common and unhearty affair. It is sweet when it is done in love, paying particular attention to the nature and anatomy of a woman, with the ultimate goal of making her happy. She must come first in love-making, and that’s the best kind of sex!